Its been .......

Its been a long time i didnt update my blog .hmmm ,bcoz sooo many things happened and i dont know how to express it in the term of words .last night i just realized that he unfollow my twitter acc .wow ,hebat .thumbs up dude .aku pun tktau knp mesti nk unfollow ?then aku consider dia tk sengaja tertekan button unfollow tu .and aku pun secara tk sengaja nya tertekan jgk button unfollow acc dia . And now im officially already unfollowed him .well ,im glad by doing that .hahahahahahah lol .

Hmm ,biar la dekat dia .he just take me for his granted .time susah baru carik aku ,ble dh senang .buat org lain mcm sampah je .well done la bro ,aku nk tgk sejauh mana kau boleh hidup dgn perangai mcm tu .

Hah ,disebabkan dh lama tk update .last week ,my grandma was passed away .even aku tk rapat dgn arwah and arwah just nenek tiri .tapi ble mak call ckp nenek dh meninggal ,ofcourse la sedih .tetiba teringat time raya hari tu ,time arwah cium pipi aku .hmmmmmm ..ALLAH swt nk tarik nyawa kte bila2 masa je kan .spe sangka tu last time aku dapat jumpa arwah nenek .spe sangka tu last raya aku balik kg dapat jpe arwah .spe sangka tu last time aku beraya dkt rumah tu .hmmm .and spe tau maybe ni last time aku update blog .after ni dh tk sempat ke .who knows ?spe tau bila ajal maut kte en ?

Dah nk dekat final ni ,aku tgk semua org dh berubah .sejak dapat result midsem yg macam haremmm tu ,semua dh muhasabah diri .alhamdulillah .no more tiru2 tuto org lain .tuto semua buat sendiri .no more tidur time lect .and now ,aku nk skip lect pun rasa srba salah ya amat .hehehehe .alhamdulillah .even takut tk dapat cover semua bnde before final ni ,at least ada la effort nk belajar tu .ingat ,kte belajar sbb ALLAH ,bukan sebab nk pass final je .hohohoho .

:'( .hmmm

Result midsem dh dapat . :( ada fail !! Seumur hidup tk pernah fail ,tetiba dpt tau ada yg fail ,rse macam ........ useless . :'( jpe advisor time ambik result td ,advisor ckp "awak tk layak tau masuk UM" .sumpah sentap nk mampos la !dh la rasa teruk ,advisor cakap mcm tu lg .its make me feel horrible ,awful  :'(

Menyesal ke hami ,masuk asasi ni ?serioustalk ,rse menyesal gler .tersangat menyesal smpai tkde air mata dh mampu keluar .hmmm ...lg 3weeks nk final ,what i can do is cover all the chapter over and over again .haish .

Menyesal ...menyesal byk buang masa main2 .menyesal tk focus dlm lecture .menyesal skip lecture .menyesal tk buat tuto sndiri .menyesal asyik menyalin tuto org lain je .menyesal menyesal menyesal .tu je mampu aku cakap .

Tgk result org lain semua straight A .hmmm .teruk nya hami .teruk nya .lg tambah rasa teruk ble fikir mak and ayah .im sorry mom ,dad .really sorry , :'(( .sorry for making both of you dissappointed with me .im really sorry :( .

Mmg la mak and ayah tk prnh tunjuk pun yg diaorg sedih ke happy ke dgn result aku ,tapiiiii .......sumpah rasa bersalah .tetiba teringat reaction mak and ayah time dpt tau aku masuk UM .obviously yg diaorg happy gler ,especially ayah .YA ALLAH ,rasa teruk sangat .

Smile yet broken

Sometimes you have to pretend that you're okay
Because you don't want to put your emotions on display,
You distract yourself by reading a book or listening to a song
Because the words in them hit a hearts string and it best describes what you can't say
And sometimes you have to leave the past behind because those you confided in caused you pain
You start to wonder what if you're repeating the same mistake that you can't afford anymore heartache
So now it's up to you either to stay where you are or build up the walls
Because life is too short and it doesn't stop
So letsy yourdoubts go
-a spark of hope-

When did my feeling gets so deep
Why did they take that big long leap
Going from friend to crush
And i don't think he knows
I love how he looks and who he is
And how he makes me feel like this
I love how he's beautiful and smart with a heart so strong
Still he hasn't got a clue
I wonder if he cares that im moving on
I don't think he knew
And now he never will
-he will never know-

Im trying hard to refrain this feeling .pretending that i already forgot him .but nadzrin said ,pretending tends to hurt myself .but sokay .its better to hurt myself than live in the life full with hopes .

Not easy to build up the wall around your heart after you realize that you're fall hard with him .but at least im trying .yeah at least .hmm .make a friend with someone you love and have to pretend that you're nothing .it is not easy dude .*sigh

Happy :))

Happy nya hari ni .tkde sbb pun aku nk stress or sedih2 hari ni .semua bnde yg jd semua nya fun and best .hahahahaa lol .hari ni aku skip lect vector sbb bangun lmbt .hehehe .pastu masuk kelas tuto phy pun lmbt ,eee buat malu je .abg hafizul tu dh ajar dkt depan ,baru aku masuk .dh la aku sorg pmpuan yg paling lmbt .hish ,segan nk mati la time masuk kelas tu .hehehhe .padah kalau tidur terlupa set alarm .haiyooo ,hami hami .hahahahaha .

Pastu time muet ,lg heaven .sir masuk kelas then he said "okay guys ,do something useful" .hohohoho .aku ,amir ,zul and suha acah2 nk practise oral .buat la team mcm betul2 nk oral ,at last ended up dgn bersembang and main2 .speaking ,grammar berterabur !!haish .ble la nk serious ni woii ?!hohoho .then ,timbul plak scandal H3 ,sbb pakai baju matching hari ni .hahahahaha .sokay ,layan je .have fun with their jokes ,dont take it serious .aku dgn amir pakai baju hitam ,aida dgn haqi pakai baju hijau and last but not least .scandal terbaru and paling hot gitu : zul and suha pakai baju coklat .hahahahahaah jkjk .

Pastu ptg tu aku pegi coolblog .yeyyy ,best nya dpt coolblog .heheheheeh .pastu pakai sweater baru plak tu. :)) ngeee ~~ next friday ,keluar dgn nadzrin ,midnight movie .yeyyyyy yeyyy .happy nya .hahahahahah .cant wait for next friday . :)

Esok aku balik rumah .hohohoho .nk rilex2 and lupa kn masalah yg buat aku pressure dkt sini .hehehe .semalam aku terbaca tweet dia "aku okay je nk kwn dgn kau .kau yg buat pasal" .hmm ,mcm tu kot ayat dia .aku pun dh lupa .ahh tk penting la ayat dia mcm mana .tp most important ,aku mcm sentap dgn tweet tu ,mcm tuju dkt aku je .hohohohho .hmm kalau betul tweet tu utk aku .aku pun tk kisah ,okay je kwn dgn kau .tk benci or marah kau pun .just aku kn kata ,i need time nk ubah feeling aku suka kau ni jd just friend .so normal la kalau aku avoid kau kn .that doesn't mean i hate you .skrg pun aku mcm dh blh terima hakikat kau tk suka aku .so okay je aku kawan dgn kau .hmmmm .its not easy want to accept the rejection ,so just thank to ALLAH ,i can accept this .hohohoho .

Whats friend for :)

Hohohoh .im proud to say that im very lucky have friends like them : sha k ,dhiyya ,key ,nadhi ,su ,aiman ,nadzrin and sooooooooo many more .sorry kalau tkde sebut nama dkt sini ,tk terlist sbb ramai sgt .heheheeh lol .

Dahlians ,civilians ,tiklians ,all of you la sng cter .hahahaha .time happy ,sedih ,hard time ,diaorg semua blh buat aku happy .alhamdulillah ,sbb ALLAH bg aku jpe kwn mcm diaorg .willingly sacrifice money for me .hahahahaha lol .part money ni tk blh blah sikit .hohoho .gurau2 je .tkkn la gler sgt aku kwn dgn diaorg sbb duit ,duit ayah aku pun mampu nk support hidup aku .

Kalau tkde diaorg ,aku tktau la apa jd dkt aku hari ni ,at this particular time .yela ,tgh brokenhearted ni .tapi nadzrin and aiman pnya support buat aku tk rasa sedih pun .thanks guys :)) hehehehehe .nadzrin bengong ,tau la fluent english .wassep dgn dia ,grammar salah sikit dh kne tegur .oh man ,you're act like my muet's teacher lol .hahahahaah .

Hmmm ,aiman dh couple dgn rusye !!!omaygod omaygoddd !!!im happy for you ,dude .congrates :)) hahahahaah .dh maju aiman skrg ,tp hopefully dia tkde la baran and cemburu buta lg .please la aiman ,tinggal kn la perangai baran kau tu .hehehehehe .

Internal bleeding ?hmmm ,aku tktau penyakit ni serious ke tak .tp nadzrin ada internal bleeding at his chest .so dia tk boleh gelak and bersukan or whatsoever .dia kata kalau dia makan ubat ,dia akan high sbb ubat tu slow kn flow of his blood .hish ,mcm seram je penyakit tu .haish ,aku doakan nadzrin cpt baik ,okay ?hahahaha .thats what friend for right ?pray for their friends .hehehehe .

Hmmm ,dh lama tk contact su and dhiyya .pe cter la diaorg skrg .rindu !!rindu nk lepak malam2 sama ,rindu nk stay rumah su ,masak sesama ,rindu nk gelak2 .rindu semua la .tp time past and people changing .thats the fact ,so normal la kalau tk cntct tu kn ,masing2 busy .hmmm .student life ,i understood .hohohoho .

Such a productive day

Hehehehe .gembira nya rasa hati .HAHAHAHAHA lol .yela ,spe yg tk happy kalau keluar jpe kwn lama kn .hari ni hang out ,fully sponsored by nadzrin and mus .satu sen pun duit aku tk keluar .yeyy yeyy .hahahahahah .happy nya .hari ni dpt baju and sweater .hehehe .credit to nadzrin sbb belanja aku .thank you so much .sayang kau weh .hohohoho lol .

Hahahaha .tk senonoh hami .ble org tu dh belanja baru nk sayang .hmm ,mus pun aku sayang gak sbb belanja aku makan td .hehehehe .well ,tkkn la nk menyampah plak ble org dh baik hati belanja .mesti la sayang kn ?hmmm hmm .hahahahaah .

See ,aku tk perlu kn pkwe yg kaya raya mcm aina tu utk dpt kn baju or makan mahal2 .kwn baik dh cukup and mampu bg aku semua tu .hehehe .bukan niat nk riak la ,tp cuba fikir .couple dgn anak org kaya ,mula2 mmg la ckp tk niat nk kikis duit bagai ,tp at last mntk macam2 .setiap kali keluar msti baratus duit lelaki tu habis .haish .aku tk mntk pun ,dh dapat .hah ,so mkne nya bkn aku kikis la kn ?hehehee lol .apa aku merepek ni woii ?!

Penat teman nadzrin shopping .ada ke patut suruh aku pilih kn dia tie .weh weh ,mana aku reti pilih barang lelaki ni .kang aku pilih tk lawa ,padan muka .hahahaha jkjk .at last aku pilih kn dia colour biru sbb dia sesuai dgn warna tu and tie superman .comfirm sespe pmpuan dkt matrik jengka tgk dia pakai tie tu akan melting .aku yakin !HAHAHAHAHAA .menyakai doh aku ni .tk baik hami ,tk baik .behave please .

Aku rasa mcm princess plak hari ni ,dapat layanan 1st class drpd diaorg .semua bnde suruh aku decide smpai tmpat makan pun ikut selera aku .hehehehe .then aku bwk mus and nadzrin jalan2 jap dkt tasik kk12 ni .lol .baru aku tahu yg mamat dua org ni takut itik .tk gne betul .aku ingt kn lelaki blh la protect pmpuan .rupa nya blm pape dh berlari nmpk itik .sumpah la bengong .hahahahahah .

Happy ,me is happy today .dpt baju and sweater baru .kalau wayang tk ramai org td mesti dh tgk movie .nadzrin ajak tgk mortal instrument plak td ,tp disbbkn ramai sgt org ,so tk jd .plan nk keluar lg time cuti hari malaysia nnt .tp tk sure jd ke tk ,hmm ,we wait and see jela ye jd ke tak plan nk keluar lg tu .heheheh .

Elysium ....

Huwahhh !!harap je action movie ,tp sad ending .hero dia mati ,for the sake of world .haish ,menitik la jgk air mata aku ble part yg hero dia nk mati tu .hahahaha lol .at first ,gempak je lawan2 semua tp last2 sad ending .huhhh .but ,its worth la tgk cter tu .awesome ?tp tk se awesome ironman3 la aku rasa .heheheheeh .

Tp spoil ble kne ddk sebelah mamat yg perasan nk mampos tu .tau la keluar dgn awek dia ,tp tk payah la buat muka pelik ble ada pmpuan lain ddk sebelah kau .yg awek dia tu pun ,buat muka cuak sgt mcm aku nk ngorat pkwe dia je .lol .kalau tknk ada sespe ddk sebelah ,lain kali beli 3 seat !comfirm tkkn ada pmpuan or lelaki yg ddk sebelah korg .menyampah ,meluat je aku tgk .hish ,manusia jenis mcm ni pun ada .

Balik2 bilik je ,terus baring .try nk buat tuto phy tp tk terdaya nk berfikir .penat !hahahaahah lol .eh eh ,ternmpak ada org main gitar dkt bilik choin .hahaaha .rupa2 nya hazim ke yg main gitar tu .fath ,apa lg ble nmpk hazim main gitar ,excited terlebih .hazim ,please ah buat loudspeaker main gitar tu ,biar dr bilik aku boleh dgr jgk .HAHAHAAHAH lol .bengong ,apa ingt main gitar tu mcm play song dkt mp4 ke blh loudspeaker bagai .hohohoh .

Hmmmmm ,as expected .KPT tk masuk pun hari ni .well ,PASUM ni mmg uji kesabaran kan .tp tkpe la ,alhamdulillah aku blh survive without KPT tu .just kesian dgn bdk2 yg mmg dh pokai langsung tu .mana diaorg nk cekau duit ,nk survive dkt sini ?lg sebulan kot nk final .mana pegi elaun kteorg ?bdk U lain dh habis pun hah elaun diaorg ,yg kteorg ?menganga je tunggu KPT ,tk dpt2 .hmmmm ..dugaan betul !

Okay ,dh ngantuk tahap cipan dh ni .even dlm dku time tkde lecturer tu aku dh tidur ,siap sempat mimpi2 lg tu .hahahahaha lol .lena giler la tidur dlm dku td .hehehehe .k nanight world :)) assalamualaikum .