Saturday, September 13, 2014

starting to miss him .even baru smlm and pagi td jpe ,now i begin to miss him even more . ;(
late night movie ,craving accomplished for nasi lemak pj ,done buying all those stuffs for studio project ,done taking pics for my project and give me the opportunity having such a great night and day .i have no words to describe how i grateful to have you in my life .

still hoping we can meet up everyday like the time we were in pasum .haihhhh .still cant move on when talking bout pasum .how i miss my life in pasum .how i miss my classmate in pasum .how i miss the food in pasum .how i miss the view of tasik kk12 from my room .how i miss everything in pasum .hahaha haha ha ha .talking bout pasum never fail to make me cry .
hoping to have better life in uitm just bcs i want to move on with everything i had in pasum .but my hope fade day by day .the very high expectation to have better life in uitm was killing myself slowly actually .bcs the very high expectation ,i started to hate everything around me .the one and only reason which make me stay here is "ALLAH have a better plan for me" .yakin yang ALLAH dh tetap kan rezeki aku dkt sini ,in shaa ALLAH everything will be fine .

mental breakdown .
not happy with my life and the environment .not happy with myself .makan banyak mana pun still berat makin hari makin kurang .haha im wondering ble la nk gemuk mcm dkt pasum dulu .ble la nk happy mcm dkt pasum dulu .i think i have to make myself redha so i'll be happy and after that my weight will gain .hmmm hypotesis accepted .hahaha bello .

last night movie : the maze runner .superb k cter nya .one of the movie yg patut masuk list of "wajib tgk" la aku rasa .hahaha .thanks my love for suggested me the movie .thumbs up !!hehe .happy gler la dpt spend time together .hehe . *senyum nampak gigi*
pastu hariz plak menggedik terlebih dgn faiz .eeee tah pape btol .selalu nya nangis kalau naik kete kalau mak tk ikut sekali ,tp tetiba naik kete faiz td boleh plak gelak2 .mentang2 la dpt ice cream free terus tersengih je bdk kecik tu .pastu yg paling and paling and paling tak puas hati ,boleh plak hariz tersengih smpai nmpk gigi ble ambik gmba dgn faiz .semua gmba plak tu hariz senyum .huhhh kalau ambik gmba dgn aku ,nk senyum tu pnya la payah ,kdg2 nk pndg camera pun tknk .eeeeeeee serious hariz gedik tau tak ! hish .

Saturday, September 6, 2014

finally im home .yeayyyy happy nya .nak lompat2 sbb happy tapi tk larat nk lompat sbb penat sgt .even nk jalan pun dh tak larat ni nk lompat2 plak .hahaha .5 hari yg paling seksa aku rasa .19 tahun hidup tk prnh rasa seksa mcm ni ,dgn penat nya ,dgn sakit hati ,dgn kne tahan sabar ,dgn kne tahan diri drpd mencarut ,dgn kne tahan diri drpd mengumpat ,dgn kne sedar kan diri byk kn sabar .haihhhh semua nya sbb orientasi .ya ALLAH orientasi ni mmg betul2 cabar kesabaran diri betul .

first day boleh lg sabar ,2nd day pun boleh paksa diri sabar .but masuk 3rd day nk sabar tp badan sndiri dh rebel suruh rehat .mana tak nya ,masuk bilik pkul 2pagi ,dgn tk mandi satu hari suntuk ,tk blh naik bilik ,tk boleh rehat lngsng pastu pkul 4.30pagi dh kne bangun .tapi tk prnh pun bngun 4.30pagi tu ,mst terlajak smpai azan subuh baru terjge .hahaha .pastu rushing nak mati bersiap turun dgn mamai nya lagi smpai nk jatuh tngga .hari2 kne mendaki tngga smpai ke floor 5 ,pastu daki tngga lagi smpai floor 7 nk pegi dewan .turun naik turun naik tngga smpai rasa nk pengsan time tu jgk .
3rd day tu ,serious tk tahan dh .nk diri pun dh mengigil pastu nmpk semua bnde melayang berpusing2 je .nangis nk balik je time tu .dh rasa nk melutut merayu je dkt fasi2 tu bg rehat kjp .tp rse mcm tk function je merayu dkt diaorg tu .at last nnt kne tengking pastu kne marah ada la .so better tabah kan diri jgn manja sgt .haihhhhhhhh .

dh siap packing nk pindah kolej .tp tetiba dpt tau kne stay kolej mawar .kolej yg jauh gler drpd fakulti .and kolej yg tkde lif even 5 tingkat pun .mental breakdown gler time tu .time2 tu jgk menangis sbb apa dosa aku dkt diorg smpai nasib malang mcm tu sekali .masuk bilik terus nangis sbb mental breakdown and penat gler nk mampos tahap cipan .fikir nk balik je time tu .

dh habis orientasi ingt kan boleh la happy sikit even penat tk habis lg .tapi ..hmmm tkpe la .Allah bg dugaan tu nk tgk kau boleh sabar ke tak wahai hamizatul .smile pls . :) mental breakdown pun tk habis lg ni .tambah lg dgn tk lama lg comfirm hormon unstable .so hami ,kau kne double triple tabah kn hati okay ?senyum pls even it is a fake smile :))

okay lupa kan semua tu .kne get ready mental and physical nk hadap isnin nnt .nak bermarathon daki bukit pegi fakulti kan .so get enough rest okay hamizatul .forget everything and smile .really need to escape from the world even just for awhile .
boleh tak nk disappeared pastu ble dh okay baru muncul balik ?boleh tak nak tido tk bangun2 pastu ble everything went well baru bangun balik ?boleh tak ?hmmm kbye